Just as it appeared that the bridge was out a few miles up the track and the Wall Street Zephyr was due to come flying through any minute, Bronco Ben Bernanke riding his noble steed “Hyper Inflation” has once more saved the day. Just moments before the Zephyr plunged to its doom, Bronco Ben propped up the sagging bride with new pylons of cheap money. “Yea, Bronco. You have saved us all from ourselves one more time.”

For those of you who had your seat belts pulled down tight in anticipation of the crash, you may now get up and move freely about the country, borrowing money. That is, if you have good credit and a down payment. Ya see, the banks were starting to become concerned with the fact that a few million good ol’ American Middle Class weren’t making their house payments and losses of a few billion here and a few billion there were starting to add up to real money. Being the quick studies that investment bankers are, they determined that requiring borrowers to document the ability to pay the loans back, combined with having a little skin in the game, may be a prudent move at this juncture.

Bad credit, no down-payment money? Don’t worry, where the banks dropped off, famed Texas cowboy, George “Badlands” Bush is picking up the rear. Recognizing the fact that stringent credit may be prudent for bankers, inside sources had advised “Badlands George” that tight credit is pure poison for those who need to be re-elected from time to time. And, of the fact that our economy had run out of consumers with good credit and a down payment shortly after the automobile was invented. This poses somewhat of a problem for the Federal Government (and the banks, but they don’t know that yet). “Badlands George” was also informed by one of his gang members that once the consumer has no money with which to consume, paying taxes is out of the question all together. Uh-oh.

I told you not to worry. New government backed programs are being created as I type. No, or low down payments, larger loan caps, lower qualifying standards… “Hold on, hold on right here,” you say, “Isn’t that the way we got to this point in the first place?” Well, now that you mention it; yes. As the ever judicious Will Rogers said, “If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?”