Good Morning Middle America, welcome to your King of Simple News Network, for all the news, that is news, from around the country. “Mostly” real news, the way it should be told.

WORLD NEWS: Oil prices remain high around the world due to supplies running short and greed running long. Famed Texas oil man, T. Boone Pickens, has predicted that we will see $100 per-barrel-oil within the next year.

Congress has taken to heart the warnings of diminishing oil reserves that were predicted by the renowned geophysicist, Marion King Hubbert, and is working on solutions as fast as possible.

Mr. Hubbert predicted that world oil would reach peak production around the year 1999. The sudden warning left precious little time for our government to react as Mr. Hubbert waited until 1956 to tell them. (I’m not making this up).

In 1956, Mr. Hubbert also told just about anyone who wanted to listen (four people in all, counting his mother) that U.S. oil production would peak in 1970; which it did. The poor misguided Mr. Hubbert mistakingly thought someone may want to know that the U.S. would run out of oil. American industry responded to this news by building class “A” motor homes and SUVs and the Vice President joined Halliburton.

The report, known as “Hubbert’s Curve,” was sent to China by regular U.S. Mail in 1957. Having arrived there last year, the Chinese government responded by ramping up their oil use by 10,000%. The huge jump in consumption was prompted by an old Chinese saying, Confucius says, “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.”

In local news, home invasions are on the rise around the county; by bears looking for food, which is the main occupation of bears. Animal activists near Lake Tahoe California have developed a meals on wheels service, by hiking into the woods with food for the bears. The idea is to feed the bears and keep them out of town.

Hollywood seems interested in the whole idea and hopes to film a sequel to the Timothy Treadwell tragedy, by being on hand when the bears embrace the sound plan of meeting the hikers’ half-way.

In Aspen, an animal rights group suggests barricading yourself into your home and never coming out again as a preventative measure to a bear encounter. Moving to another locale and abandoning your home altogether is another strong suggestion. After all, the bears were there first. Tribal leaders from several American Indian groups vigorously support the concept.

Stay tuned to the King of Simple News Network for more broken news.