CALIFORNIA, has always been a forerunner of the newest trends and proud of it. Hearing that next-door Nevada had squeezed into first place in home foreclosures was heartbreaking news. But, never underestimate the tenacity of the average Californian who has once more regained the record with 148,147 foreclosures in the third quarter.

Nevada is screaming “Foul, foul,” and is pointing out that California has an unfair advantage because, “There’s more of ‘em to foreclose against.” One astute Nevadan was quick to point out that numbers can be tricky, and “as a percentage of households per capita, we’re still way out in front.”

Our King of Simple News economist who is fully versed in Mikeronomics did a little math and the odds are clearly in favor of Las Vegas. The percentage of Nevada households in foreclosure is one in every 61 as compared to California’s one in 88.

The record setting pace for Nevada seems to have emerged from a phenomenon which occurred earlier this year when a lot of the folks in Las Vegas woke up on the same morning. In an interview with Maude and Claude Finkenbinder, Vegas transplants from Ohio, they had this to say.

“We woke up one morning and realized it was 116 degrees in the shade and there ain’t no shade. The smog was so bad it was blocking our beautiful view of Sam’s Town, that we can normally see from our roof when we’re working on the dang swamp cooler.”

Continuing with her laundry list of concerns, Mrs. Finkenbinder said, “Its been so blessed dry that our cactus died from heat stroke and the lizards have took to packin’ canteens. The traffic is so dern bad that we have to plan a day-trip to get groceries. The final straw came when we sent some pictures of our back yard to our nephew Elwood back in Ohio and he wrote, “Wow, how’d you git them great pictures of the moon?”

“We sent Elwood a letter back saying okay Mister Smarty Pants, but can you be losing your money at the casino within 10 minutes of leaving the house? Ha-ha” In parting Claude told our reporter, “Jist as soon as we can put together enough money for a tank of gas, we’re heading back to Ohio.”

We do love those human interest stories here at Simple News. But, staying with the foreclosure trend, Irvine-based RealtyTrac Inc. has reported that a total of 446,726 homes nationwide were targeted by some sort of foreclosure activity from July to September, up a record setting 100.1 percent from 223,233 properties reported in the year-ago numbers for the same period.

The only economist in America, not presently working for the Federal Government or a Wall Street firm, has predicted that, “We should pass that record next quarter like a freight train passing a bum”

In other news, Wall-Street, undaunted by the housing collapse, shot up Wednesday in late trading due to the keen observation of one financial analyst who reported that a recent study showed that it was Wednesday and the sun appeared to be setting in the west.

Wall Street was also fortified with the double-good news that “Bronco Ben” had cut the Fed rate by ¼ percent on Wednesday and was willing to take what ever action necessary to save his “good buddies” down at the bank, including actually paying them to take the money.

Armed with the extensive training and knowledge that he acquired from Alan “Cash” Greenspan, Mr. Bernanke has assured the world that “There’s more where that came from.”

In conclusion, this reporter has this to say about that; Artificially low interest, low or no down payments, lower credit requirements, longer repayment terms, and lax qualifying standards have brought us to this juncture that I believe will be the largest housing decline in the history of this county; on purpose.

In June of 2003, Alan “Cash” Greenspan lowered the Federal Lending Rate to 1% in a misguided effort to “save the economy” by encouraging Middle America to borrow up to their eyeballs. The real plan was to save Big Government and Big Business, who consequently moved to China.

Wake up Middle America; this is your final boarding call!